My Journey - Warts and All

Well tomorrow is the last day of 2012 and what a year!! This year, I celebrated my 30th birthday and my 5th wedding anniversary. My 30th was a brilliant day and I had a fantastic night out. I actually have a 'song' that reminds me of my birthday lol. I haven't had that since my 18th. My wedding anniversary was lovely too but for different reasons. I think mentally 5 years was a big one for us. We knew that when we got to 5 years married, we would have been together for 10 years and it would also mean that my course was nearly over and we'd made it through to the end of it, together. I am lighter in weight than I have been in a long time. I've put on some weight since I had to stop CPT but that's ok, I'm going back to the gym in Manchester when I get down there. I have just realised though that the dress I wore last night to my leaving do made me look pregnant at certain angles :-( but hey ho, it was a size 18 and I fitted into it. I now have a degree i...

Well the nerves have well and truly kicked in ahead of moving. I've used the last two weeks to catch up with people before I go and it's starting to seem so final. I've got a big night out planned for the end of the month where I'll catch up with everyone who can come properly. There are some friends that when I move away, we'll probably never speak again and that's ok, we're just not in the same place in our lives. My priorities have changed from where they were 3 years ago. It's a fact that makes me a bit sad but that's life. I think what I'm most nervous about is starting this new job, in a new town on my own. My family and my close friends support me more than they probably realise. They allow me to switch off. I get to listen to how their day has been and what's going on with them. That's what I'm going to miss. I'm going to be working and living in the same place and I worry that I won't be able to switch off. I...

Well placement and Uni are now officially over and I have a degree in Nursing and start my job as a staff nurse in a few weeks. I can't believe it. The last 3 years have flown by. Would I do it again? Yeah I would. Would I do differently? There are somethings that I'd change but life is too short for regrets. One of the girls and I organised a graduation night out for the class last night. I couldn't go but I've heard from some girls this morning and they seemed to have a good time. We'll get a proper graduation ceremony in the summertime where we get the gowns and all that jazz. I'll come home for that. I think my granny would kill me if I didn't. So now I have Christmas, New Year and then moving. It's all happened so quickly. I'm so excited now! I've got 3 weeks of catching up with friends and in fact tonight I'm going to my friend Vicky's house to have a Take That party. It's a long standing thing that we do and is exactly...

I'm wondering if good luck comes in 3's? 1. I got my confirmed date for the my new job 2. I got my degree 3. .......... My third piece of good news came yesterday. The final part of our degree was an essay on a topic that we are passionate about and is current in nursing. So I did mine on nursing attitudes to obese patients. It's something that I've experienced from both sides of the fence. I enjoyed writing the essay (when I eventually got into it) and when I got my grade back for it, I was shocked. When we got our initial talk about the degree essay the lecturer told us about the possibility of getting our final work published so I went to speak to him yesterday about it. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, we had decided that we were going to undertake brand new research into the topic and not just publish my degree work!! I'm so excited. The lecturer at uni is going to help me look at grants, publishing etc etc. We haven't worked out all the deta...

Today I got some amazing news. I passed my final essay at Uni and now have a degree in Adult Nursing!! I can't believe it. I was hoping for a pass but I would never have guessed that I would have managed to get the mark that I did. I got an A2. I was speechless when I read it lol. I had to read it a few times o make sure it was right. So all there's left to do is pass my placement and I'll be Staff Nurse Chambers!! Aaaarrrrrgggghhh, that's a scary thought. The last 3 years have flown by. I owe a big thanks to the staff who have welcomed me into their workplace and the ones who wanted to give me all their knowledge. I couldn't have done it without the support of my family and closest friends. I owe them a huge thank you for accepting that I'm a hermit when I'm on placement and taking me out for a drink after an exam or essay. Thank you for the text messages asking how I am just when I need to speak to someone. Thanks for living with the tears when I c...

Well I have my start date confirmed for my new job. I'll be starting in Monday 7th January 2013. I'm really excited and nervous all at the same time. I'm excited to finally start my career and I'm nervous about going down on my own. I'm gutted that Matt isn't coming but we'll make it work. My family are already planning their visits down to see me and have been working out the logistics of it all ie hotels, hiring cars that will take all of them etc. With only 3 weeks to go until I qualify and 7 or 8 weeks until I start working, it got me thinking back to January 2010 when this all started. The nerves that I got before I started my first lecture, meeting new people and that first time I set foot in a ward as a worker rather than a visitor. I have had some amazing experiences and I have had some not so good. But I'm coming out of the last 3 years with some of the brilliant friends, people who'll continue to be in my life even with the distance s...

Things are starting to move along nicely. I have a provisional start date for my new job (depending on my security check coming through in time). They have my references so that's all I'm waiting for. They'll start me as a band lower than staff nurse and when all my nurses paperwork come through, I'll move up. I have my accommodation sorted, all my packing is done (except for the stuff I use on a daily basis) and most importantly my leaving party is organised!!! So for my leaving party, the date and time are set, the pub is booked and the dress is bought.  On the dress front, I tried it on in a size 16 and it fitted!! Woop woop! It wasn't quite right so went up a size but I could have worn it. I love the dress. It's the first time I've been able to get something out of Debenhams. The only thing that I have left to do it trying to organise transport from Fife to Edinburgh and back again. We were going to stay at my mum's but she's replaced some ...

I finally organised somewhere to stay in Manchester. It's in the nurses accommodation and is really reasonable in the price of it. There are a few things that I forgot or didn't think to ask on the phone yesterday but the other bonus is that they only take your first rent when you get your salary and it comes straight out your salary.  The other positive is that they are completely flexible on a move in date. They understand the uncertainty about professional registration and security checks. I don't think I'll have any problems with either, its just the amount of time it takes for them to come through, there is no hard and fast rule.  I'm starting to get really nervous as well lol. When I think that I've got a job and somewhere to stay, it makes it real. In about 10 weeks, I'm going to leave my family behind and start this brand new job in a brand new city. It's pathetic really, I'm a 30 year old woman who has lived on her own before albeit not ...

My plans are all starting to come together. :-) So I got the job (conditionally) and now I've seen a house that works perfectly. It's partially furnished and is available from January. I've put a note of interest in the house but I've never rented before   so I'm really not sure how it works. The poor agent that I spoke to this morning had a load of questions thrown at him lol. The house is right behind the hospital and only a short walk from everything, the gym, the train station, the centre of the wee suburb. I went down yesterday to Manchester to do all the security paperwork that was needed. They've also sent out my references so I'm hoping it won't be long until I have a start date. So pending my security stuff (which I'm not worried about at all, my previous jobs have required high security clearance) and passing this placement, I should be in Manchester working in the first part of the new year. I've started to try and get stuff orga...

We've had some movement on the Manchester plans. I got all my documents through so I do actually have the conditional offer of a job. I've had a few moments where I've been convinced that they phoned the wrong person :-) But they didn't and the job is mine. I have to go back to Manchester to do all the security paperwork, I just need to get a date organised for it.  On a negative though, Matt won't be coming with me. It just wasn't working out with his job options, money etc etc. We're both ok with it though, Manchester isn't that far away and it won't be forever. We're a strong enough couple that a wee bit of distance isn't going to hurt us in any way. It means that my family will be able to get a lift down to see me as well :-) So I'm starting to pack up all my bits and pieces. I almost feel like we're having to split the house lol. I don't know if I'll get a furnished or unfurnished flat so I have no idea what I'll ...

I'm not sure how to start this post.  It's been so full on with placement at the moment and I've got one more essay due for Uni. I only have 9 weeks left until I'm fully qualified. I starte d to apply for jobs a few weeks ago and got called for an interview in the hospital that I currently work in but unfortunately I didn't get it. On Saturday just passed, I went down to Manchester for an interview. I wasn't sure how the interview had gone, it was so intense. I became really aware during the interview that I was speaking very quickly in my Scottish accent and I started to concentrate on slowing down my speech. I came out of it convinced that I had done ok but not well enough to actually get the job. But all the interviews are good practice. They said they would let me know by Friday so I just put it out of my mind. However, I got a call yesterday from them......................and I GOT THE JOB!!!!! It's full time and permanent. I can't believe it,...

This week I got some brilliant news. I passed my diploma in Nursing!!! That means that I can get a job as a Staff nurse. There is still the option to go for my degree which is my plan but providing I pass the placement I'm currently on, I'll be Staff Nurse Chambers in 10 weeks. Scary but exciting stuff. Now starts the hunt for a job. I have an interview next week which I have everything crossed for. I had my first interview the other week and nerves doesn't even begin to say how I felt. I felt sorry for the interviewers lol. I still can't exercise but am walking a lot and that's just on the wards. I do my physio exercises as much as I can tolerate and I have an appointment a week on Tuesday. I'm hoping to go for some additional walks on my days off but I still have my final degree essay to do so that depend on my schedule. I can't believe how much things have changed over the last 3 years. I'm a more confident person than the person who started thi...

This week has been a weird one. I started placement and I think I'm getting on ok. I've also been working trying to get a job when I qualify as well as finishing my uni work. Matt and I have had a good chat about my career and the future so a plan is in place and I'm excited!  I'm still out on the exercise front though. I have a physio appointment on Monday and they will hopefully say that I can go back to exercising. I've got my swimming buddy all organised and as soon as the physio gives me the green light, I'll be back on it. I'm choking to do some form of exercise. I'm booked to do a Fun Run on 4th November and I think that's going to be the first time that I do a proper run. I miss training with the girls from CPT :-( After the physio on Monday, I'm hoping that they say I can go for walks, that way I'll be able to walk the runs with the CPT girls (while they run them obviously). I've been on my medication for my PCOS now for ...

I haven't really been in the mood to post lately. I'll be honest, I'm gutted about this injury. I'm gutted that it's keeping me out of training and I'm sick of not being able to take stairs without there being an element of pain. I start placement on Monday and for the first week will be working 8 hour shifts. From week 2 onwards, it'll be 12.5 hour shifts and I can't be ill or hobbling about for that. It's not exactly a great impression. I'm only 12 weeks away from becoming a 'proper' nurse and I can't wait.  To keep myself going I've been looking at holidays for next year. I don't have the motivation of being able to go to training at the moment so I'm using a swimsuit as my motivation. Next summer, I'll need to wear a swimsuit and that's what's got to get my diet back on track. I've been so down about not being able to exercise that I've let it all lapse and I can't do that. I've come way...

Well I had the docs today about my hip/leg. She said I have a Grade 3 groin strain. On a positive it's a muscular injury and not anything wrong with my actual hip joint. On the negative she said it could take 4-6 weeks to get better. She made me promise that I won't head back to Commando training until I'm in no more pain and can climb stairs without there even being a niggle of pain :-( I'm gutted but I know I need to get better ahead of placement. I've got stronger pain killers to help me when I get really sore. I've got lots of things to concentrate on so I'm going to concentrate on those things. It'll get better when it gets better! When I do get back to Commando its going to be as bad as my first time lol.

Just after my 10k, I posted that I had hurt my left leg/hip. Since then it doesn't seem to have improved at all. I went to CPT on Mon, Tues and Thurs of last week but after Thurs the pain was bad, I stayed off Sat, Mon and Tues. It was starting to feel better and wasn't even a fraction as sore. I went back tonight for the first time and it was agony. As soon as we started to run I could feel it. Every time I put my foot down.... It got so bad at one point that I actually thought I was about to cry to tried to remove myself from the group a wee bit. With placement starting a week on Monday, I absolutely can't risk not being able to walk the wards. I'm totally gutted to say this but I'm going to have give CPT a rest for a while :-( I've never enjoyed exercise so much and I can't believe I'm going to have to give it a rest. The walking about the ward for 12.5 hours, 3 days a week will be lighter exercise and I can always go out for a walk on my days o...

Am officially sick of this!! Not only did I have a rubbish week with whatever I've done to my hip but I put on 4.5lbs at Fat Fighters!! What the hell!?!? My diet hasn't been the greatest but it's not putting on that sort of weight. I'm not going to make excuses though. I haven't eaten as well and I haven't been able to exercise as hard as usual. So this week, it's back to basics. I'll be tracking my food intake and using the weight watchers points stuff properly. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back to training with this hip pain. It needs to be all about diet this week. Good tracking, good eating! I started my new medication this week as well so by my weigh in on Friday, I'll be on the maximum dose and will hopefully be seeing the benefit of that. So I do feel ready to throw in the towel but I'm not going to. I've come too far, I ran a 10k last weekend!! A year ago I'd never have done that! I'm a size 18, last O...

As I posted yesterday, I did my very first 10k this weekend. As hard as it was I managed it and felt ok when I woke up this morning. I went out and spent the day with my friend then, as always, went to CPT tonight. What a mistake!!! As soon as I started, my legs were like 2 huge lumps of lead. I instantly regretted my decision to go to training tonight :-( But I kept with it and finished the whole session. I'll be there again tomorrow night but I can't make it on Wednesday (Matt has a concert so I can't get home). As a consequence of going tonight, I can't sleep because of a horrendous pain in my left hip/leg. I'm hoping that my quiet day tomorrow will help it feel better and I'll be fine for training tomorrow night, I'm sure it'll ease of during the course of the day. It's late and I'm sore so am just having a wee moan :-). I'm sure after I sleep tomorrow I'll feel much better. Roll on tomorrow........

Today was the day that I did the 10k in Dalgety Bay. First I want to say a massive thank you to Caitlin, I ran with her and she was amazing at keeping me going. At the end of the race, I didn't think I was going to manage it but she kept me going all the way. She was a wee star!!  I also want to say a huge thanks to my friend Mhairi who came all the way over from West Lothian to cheer me over the finish line.  As always the true spirit of CPT was there on the day and Lyndsay, Lyndsey, John and Louise came back to help me over the finish line. I love training with these guys, I've never experienced team spirit like it. Picture of us all below. So the race itself: Ran 10K? - Yep did it Out of my fitness ability? - Absolutely but I did it Would I do it again? - Absolutely would, in fact I can't wait for the next one Unfortunately the organisation of the race was terrible. The front runners were sent in the wrong direction and they ended up running a mile or so mo...

I have done next to no exercise this week :-( I've only been to Commando training once and that was Monday. There is a really good reason why I haven't been but it doesn't make me feel any better for not going. I have an essay due on tomorrow and have used all my extra hours on that. I had to make a choice on Tuesday night, Commando or my nursing degree. It's not really a choice, my degree will always come first.  I love Commando training but I love nursing more. My diet has been good this week though. It's my first week trying to eat gluten free. I'm not going to lie, it's hard and I've had the odd slip but overall I've done quite well. Talking about my job, it's getting to the point where I need to be looking for a job. The Navy were in seeing us this term to try and recruit us and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. I'm hoping the local job market picks up before it comes to that. After finishing this essay today, my nex...

This Sunday I'll be running my very first 10k and I can't put into words how nervous I am. This year I promised myself that I would do a 5k and I've done that. I never thought I'd even be considering doing a 10k.  I'm not asking people for a huge sum of money for sponsorship, only a £1. If anyone reading this would like to sponsor me, I'd really appreciate it. My JustGiving page is below: http://www.justgiving.com/forournationalheroes The charity I'm running for supports ex servicemen and women and their families. It seems really appropriate given that the men who've got me to the point where I feel able to run that far are servicemen. I went out for a run with 2 of the commando girls on Friday and we ran 6.3km, that was after doing CPT all week. That's more exercise than I did in year nevermind a week lol. If anyone reading this is free on Sunday and happens to be in the Dalgety Bay area, feel free to come and cheer us over the line (I mi...

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 6 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10.5lbs Week 7 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 7 - Loss 4lbs. Weight - 17st 6lbs Week 8 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 3lbs Week 9 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Week 10 - Loss 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 1lb Week 11 - Gain 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Week 12 - Loss 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 1lb I honestly think that I'm stuck in this stone bracket. I've psyched myself out with it all. This week is the first week of me cutting gluten / carbs completely put of my diet so fingers crossed that makes a difference

I went into Edinburgh to help my sister with something related to her house. She was meeting with an MSP, council officials and police today so was a bit intimidated. I was a civil servant who worked directly with government ministers in a previous job so went with her for a bit of moral support.  I was born in Edinburgh and lived there for 24 years of my life. I know the city really well. I also know the bus service really well. I can bus hop like a professional and when I'm in the city I tend to bus my way around. Not today though, I walked everywhere! I walked a total of 5.5 miles which I've just converted into kilometres. I walked 8.5km today! I still have to go for my run as well tonight. My sister did 3.8 miles before she went her own way to get home an she doesn't walk the length of herself. One of my errands for today was to officially sign up for the Poppy Scotland run a week on Sunday. These Commando guys have a lot to answer for :-). I never, in a million yea...

Well all my birthday celebrations are over and everything is back to normal. I have had a brilliant 30th!! Tuesday I got to spend the day relaxing, shopping and then CPT. On Saturday, I had a wee night out in Dunfermline. It was a brilliant night, lots of laughs, dancing and podium dancers lol.  I know my initial motivation for the weight loss was my 30th and I wasn't at my target weight as I has wanted to be but I felt great on Saturday night and the pictures have at last showed me how far I've come. I've lost 5 stone and yeah I've got a long way to go but I've already achieved a huge weight loss. I changed my Facebook profile picture on Saturday afternoon. I was mucking about with my camera and trying to get a picture of my hair to let my granny see it. I couldn't believe the picture. It was like I was seeing myself for the first time since all this started. It was the first picture in years that I've actually thought 'I like that photo'. So ba...

So I turned 30 on Tuesday and I have to say it wasn't painful at all. The Commando circuit part of the day was extremely painful and remained that way until Wednesday night. The actual part where I left my 20's wasn't though.  I'm in such a better place now than when I turned 20. On my 20th birthday my dad had only died 3 months before and I was in a terrible place in my head. I had no idea where I would be the next week nevermind 10 years on. I had no idea that 4 months later I'd lose the other man in my life, my grandad. But on a happier note, I didn't know that I'd meet the man who would eventually become my husband just 6/7 weeks after my birthday. Don't get me wrong, the last 10 years haven't been a bed of roses but I like who I am and where I am in my life.  I'm actually looking forward to what my 30's have in store. In 4 months I'll be a fully qualified nurse, something that I never thought I'd ever achieve. I'm happily...

I've been going to Commando training for a few months now and tonight we did another progress circuit. I really haven't been able to see the change in my fitness levels but tonight it was there in black and white. The idea of this is to do as many of the exercise as you can in 60 secs. I've put down my previous scores and the ones that I achieved tonight. 29 May 2012 Push Ups - 37  Sit ups - 15  Squat thrusts - 18  Wide arm push ups - 36  Sit ups with a twist - 15  20 metre sprint - 4  7 August 2012 Push Ups - 62 Sit ups - 36 Squat thrusts - 32 Wide arm push ups - 66 Sit ups with a twist - 24 20 metre sprint - 9 I'm so chuffed with my scores. I beat my own ass and did it all on my 30th birthday. I had an amazing day with Matt and this topped it all off. I can actually see the difference in my fitness levels. Go me!!!!!

Last night, my sister organised dinner out with my family for my birthday. I had a lovely dinner but realised last night that I can no longer drink like I used to!!  It's not something that I'm particularly proud of but I use to be able to drink like a fish. It was disgusting the amount of booze I could put away!! Last night, the 5 stone that I've lost hit me and I realised I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it either. I'm feeling incredibly guilty this morning for jumping off the diet. I know it's my birthday but it's just not worth it. I'm out next Saturday for my birthday and I'm not going to not drink but I'm definitely going to be more sensible. I hate the memory gaps, I want to remember every bit of it. It's my 30th after all not my 18th. Next week will be less drinking and more dancing!!!

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 6 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10.5lbs Week 7 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 7 - Loss 4lbs. Weight - 17st 6lbs Week 8 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 3lbs Week 9 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Week 10 - Loss 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 1lb Need to get out of this stone bracket!!!! Next week :-) on the plus side, I reached by 5% weigh loss target last week and I only just realised

I've spoken about the fact that I suffer from polycystic ovaries syndrome before but I don't think I've ever dedicated a full post to it. Just in case anyone hasn't read those posts before, I'll give you a wee bit of background. Polycystic ovaries syndrome affects about 10% of women and although relatively common, some doctors really don't know anything about it. It affects fertility in women and the important thing about it is gettig on top of your symptoms. It has a wide range of presenting symptoms which include acne, lack of periods, problems with periods, mood swings, excessive hair growth etc. It can sometimes look like PMT. For years, my doctors have dismissed my symptoms as being in my head (even though I suffer from the physical complaints of PCOS). Last time I was at the doctors, I had done lots of research into the problems I was having with my irregular blood sugars. I took along evidence and still this horrible doctor refused to listen to me. I to...

I was at Commando training on Saturday and then went back again tonight. Saturday's session left my muscles aching on Sunday so I thought tonight would be hard. But tonight was much tougher than I thought. It was because of my own attitude though that it was so hard. I totally convinced myself that I couldn't run up the biggest hill we did and as a consequence I didn't manage to run up it. Idiot!!! I failed myself before I had even started. What is wrong with me!!! I've come so far since I started this training. I really feel like I let myself down. :-(  Back at Commando tomorrow and it'll be onwards and upwards. Next time we tackle that hill, I'll just be focussing on the bench at the top

I got my bike today! It's on a free loan scheme run by the local council and NHS board. It's for 6 weeks and I plan to make the most of it. After getting a test in the park where I picked it up, I was let loose on my own. I went off for a wee cycle down the trail that I normally run on. It has a little bit of road and a lot of cycle track. I was really really nervous out in the traffic. According to the Highway Code, bicycles must be used the road, not pavements. So I did that whilst the speed limit was 30 mph but as soon as I saw the national speed limit sign, I was straight on the pavement. I know it was the cowards way out but cars are bigger than me lol Anyway, had a brilliant time charging down the hills, completely ignoring the fat that I would have to come back up them lol.  I managed to do 5.37miles in 50mins and would say the last 2 miles uphill were definitely my slowest. The plan was to cycle to Commando training but I'm a bit nervous in traffic and the r...

It's been some week this week. I was off sick from Uni on Monday and just haven't been able to go to Commando training. I've also eaten crap all week!!! Bad times On the plus side, I'm feeling much better and went out for lunch with my friend and her baby today and had a lovely girlie catch up. Her baby is totally gorgeous and such a happy wee thing so it was really great getting a wee cuddle or two from him. We went for a wander round the shops after lunch and happened to take a wander into New Look. I saw this dress that I really liked but it's fitted and those type of dresses never really fit. It was also in the 'normal' sized section of the shop so I fully expected it not to fit. But I went to try it  on to see how far I have to go before I fit into them. And guess what......... it fitted me!!! No pulling over the bust, no holding in the gut, it just fitted!!! I also booked in to get my first spray tan for my birthday which I'm nervous about. I...

I'm loving going to Commando training! I try and go 3/4/5 times a week and I went out on my first run the other day. I need to get my diet sorted. I'm skipping meals, eating things that are convenient and eating crap. I know that with my PCOS I know that I'm supposed to eat 6 small meals a day but when I'm working my job doesn't allow it. I know that my eating habits are terrible so I've started to do some work using cognitive behavioural therapy.  I was trying to work out what emotion is behind my behaviour. Then I realised........ I'm frightened. I'm worried about what will happen if I lose all the weight. I know that by eating what I am and exercising the way that I do, I'll maintain my weight as I am. It's simple maths: calories in minus calories burned equals a deficit.  I'm frightened about how my relationships will change. I'm scared that I don't know how to be anything other than a big girl. I've never been this size...

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 6 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10.5lbs Week 7 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 7 - Loss 4lbs. Weight - 17st 6lbs Week 8 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 3lbs Week 9 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Only half a pound off this week but I've been eating crap so I deserve it

Today I went out for my very first solo run. It was a bit lonely without any of the Commando's with me but I'm so chuffed with myself for doing it.  I did 6.819km in 65 mins. About 5.2km of that I actually ran and the rest was the walk to and from my house. I can't go to commando training on Saturday because I'm working nightshift this weekend so I thought a wee run would do the trick. I can't pretend I wasn't nervous. I was convinced it would be like Mr Blobby running along the road. But I did it and there were other people on the track cycling and running. I'm not really going to get a chance to go out for a run again before the 5k that I'm doing next Friday but I've done my first solo run so its something to tick off the list. When I started this weight loss thing last October I was wearing size 24 vests. I still see that, when I look in the mirror that's what I see. Last night though, I had to go and buy some more vests. I bought exactl...

I don't normally post in such quick succession but I am having a brilliant week this week. Been to Commando training twice this week (will be there tonight and tomorrow as well) and I'm just feeling good about everything. I've been out shopping on Friday (I spoke about that in my last blog) and I went out shopping again yesterday. I'm loving trying on all these new styles and when something doesn't fit, I don't mind. It gives me something to aim for. Before I wouldn't try things on, I couldn't stand the disappointment of another thing not fitting. I didn't have a choice of clothes really, I'd just buy whatever fitted me and when I found something that fit, I'd buy it in all the available colours. Well yesterday, I wore out one of the new things that I bought on Friday, black jeggings with a grey top that was longer at the back than the front. I was so paranoid when I left the house!! I kept thinking that I had to go back to the house to...

The week is off to a great start!  Went to Commando training tonight and I managed not come last! It's been my goal since the start and I managed it tonight. Go me! I honestly can't say how much this Commando Park Training has helped me. Last year, when I weighed in at 22stone, I never, ever, ever would have thought that I would have been able to manage this sort of training. But here I am, 7 weeks on, I've run my first 5k, found out that I do have core muscles (and they hurt so much just now!), not come last in an overload session and met some brilliant and encouraging people.  The guys who run it are brilliant and I honestly cannot recommend them enough. If you stay around the Dunfermline area and want to do some hard but excellent training, come along. I'm seeing huge benefits in the last few weeks.  http://www.commandoparktraining.co.uk/  Have a wee look...... Had another high point this week as well. I went to Primark with a friend on...

It's only 4 weeks on Tuesday until I turn 30!!  I need to step up my game. The last 3 weeks my head hasn't been in it. I've eaten crap and haven't been going to Commando training as much as usual. I had only managed to go twice this week, Monday and today. I haven't even bothered to weigh in for the last few weeks. It was really wet today but I really really enjoyed it. It's lighted a fire under my butt and I definitely needed it. I've got a 5k run coming up a week on Friday so I need to get my fitness levels back up again.So I'm planning my schedule for the next 2 weeks until after my next 5k Monday 9 - Commando Tuesday 10 - Commando Wednesday 11 - Commando  Thursday 12 - Commando Friday 13 - Run in the morning and then Working Saturday 14 - Commando (maybe, am working at night) Sunday 15 - Working Monday 16 - Commando Tuesday 17 - Commando Wednesday 18 - Working Thursday 19 - Working Friday 20 - 5k Saturday 21 - Commando Sunday 22 -...

I'm not getting to Commando as much as I would like to this week. :-( But on the plus side, I'm going for an actual run, out in the street, where people can see me! lol My friend is coming along with me on a really good path I found down the Meades. I went to Commando training on Monday and I was so disappointed with myself. I've got a bit a cold lingering on from last week that I just haven't been able to shake. It's flaring up my asthma as it does every time I get the hint of a cold. I couldn't run up one of the hills and I was mad as hell at myself! Granted I couldn't breath at the time but in my mind, that wasn't good enough. I'll be back at Commando on Saturday and I'm determined that I'll be feeling better and do a lot better in the class.  I didn't post about it last night 'cause I was so annoyed at myself. I'm feeling rubbish about the whole thing at the moment. I need to get my head back in the game. I'm hoping ...

I'm going to chalk this week off as a bad one. My diet has been terrible and I had a night out on Friday so there were a couple of small glasses of wine involved lol.  I've also been working nightshift over the last 2 weeks and I never eat properly :-(  The weather was horrendous on Tuesday when I was at Commando training, I mean the rain was dripping off me. It was cold, wet and generally quite miserable. On the Wednesday I wasn't feeling 100% but I just put it down to not sleeping very well over the last few days. Thursday I was feeling terrible so I spent the whole day on Beechams Cold and Flu tablets and missed training on Thursday night. I felt much better on Friday am so went out for dinner/drinks as I had planned. But this morning, yuck! My throat is sore, I'm coughing, sneezing etc etc. That'll teach me to go out. It was an amazing night though! :-)  I go back to uni on Monday so I need to get myself organised again so that I'm on top of my cours...

I'm not really sure what happened yesterday. Well I am, I ran a 5k for the first time ever! But I mean in my head. My friend, Janet, sent me a link to a some free of charge 5k runs that are timed and I'm now having a discussion in my head about which of my fitness things I should do on a Saturday morning! When did that happen???  I've also signed up for a website called the Running Bug community. On every other health kick I've done, I've always said that I don't run and never will run. Ooops!  I've found over the last few weeks, I've been a bit more 'zen' as well. I'm a red head and a Leo so am naturally hot headed. I've probably only got really wound up once and that was to do with my job and that's really important to me. My uni course has cost me a few friendships but I've stopped stressing out about it. My real friends understand that I turn into a hermit around the time of exams and essays or that I can't always meet ...