My Journey - Warts and All

Tonight's blog is about something that I have discussed before but not very often.  I suffer from polycystic ovaries syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was about 20 but have had problems long before that. When I lived in Edinburgh I was seen almost every 6 months and would  get help for my symptoms as and when they arose. However I don't live in Edinburgh anymore and at my new doctors I have had absolutely no support whatsoever. All the symptoms that I get I battle on my own. Tonight was a perfect example of that. I went to the doctor to ask for help. I came out with nothing and she is going to refer me to the wrong department of the hospital. So tomorrow I'm going to have to call them again and tell them that I'm about to be referred to the wrong place.  With my doctors, I feel like its a total lack of knowledge. And they don't seem to want to expand it. We're taught in uni about knowing about the 'expert patient' ie patient's who know their con...

Commando training tonight was a hard one!!! It was fitness circuits that we had to do and we'll be doing them monthly to see how much fitter we're getting. I've put all the exercises below. I've also put the number of reps I managed to do. We had to do as many of them as possible for 60 secs. We recorded how many we did and have them as a guide for next month.  Push Ups - 37  Sit ups - 15  Squat thrusts - 18  Wide arm push ups - 36  Sit ups with a twist - 15  20 metre sprint - 4  Absolutely shocking results but it gives me something to aim for next month and as there is no way that I'll beat anyone else on the class, I've got myself as competition!! The overload was really difficult tonight as well. There's one hill in the park that the instructors love to make you run up and down. It's ssssssoooo steep!!!! We had to run up it backwards then back down and just for good measure, he made us run up it forward as well. Back tomorrow for ano...

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 6 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10.5lbs So I lost 2.5lbs this week. I'm happy that I lost and I kind of know why I only lost 2.5. My diet has been terrible this week. Not that I've been eating loads of rubbish, I haven't really been eating. I can honestly say its been over a week since I've had 3 square meals a day. Somedays I was only eating one meal. I'm really not sure why I haven't been eating, I just haven't been feeling like it. My weight watchers leader also said that as I'm doing such intensive training, I should be eating more to stop my body going into starvation mode. Not sure I understand that but we'll give it a good. Anyway, it was a loss and a loss is a loss. Next week I'm going to tr...

So the commando training that I've done so far: Thursday 17th May - 60 mins Saturday 19th May - 60 mins Tuesday 22nd May - 60 mins Wednesday 23rd May - 60 mins Well I've done 4 sessions of the Marine Commando Training and I think I'm officially converted! It's really hard but I feel amazing once I've done it. The atmosphere is so encouraging and everyone (and I mean everyone) cheers you on. It's really daunting to start with and I still get nervous before the training starts. It sounds silly but for my first couple of sessions I would wait in the car for the other girls to come but I've started to get out the cars by myself lol. I also think that I've learnt to breathe and run at the same time!! Compared to the gym and my classes, I was getting bored with a couple of my classes and needed to push it a bit harder. I also don't find the atmosphere as warm or encouraging. I've had a couple of terrible experiences with women at the gym as we...

60 mins - Ex Marine Mental Commando Training Well I did it again. And I think I made a bit of progress tonight. I managed to jog and breath at the same time!!! I also managed to say a couple of words whilst jogging. Woo hoo! Go me lol!! Simple pleasures. Back tomorrow and I'm going to buy a monthly pass so I can go to as many classes as I want/can Fat Fighters weigh in on Friday. Looking forward to a new meeting/leader and seeing what all this exercise has done to my weight loss. Kicked it up a gear would be the ideal goal 

So a busy, busy weekend over! Was at a lovely wedding reception on Saturday. Today we were at a birthday lunch with one of the girls I went to school. She turned 30 today. Happy birthday Mhairi!! I've been thinking about my own 30th today. My mum and other close family can't come and I really can't have a formal party without them. So I've decided to cancel it. It's not a big deal if I'm honest. I'd had to change the day and a few good friends couldn't come on the new date, it was turning into a bit of a circus. Might just do a girlie lunch/dinner. I'll be knee deep in my next degree essay so we'll see if that happens! So the weight loss target is now aimed at my actual birthday. I want to skinnier when I wake up on my 30th birthday. There's only 3 days of difference. Looking forward to my commando training this week. Bring on Tuesday-Thursday training and then a weigh in on Friday

Well I've got a plan for next week or at least the beginning of one Monday 21 May Nothing - I'm on the back shift at work and I have an essay to finish Tuesday 22 May Commando Training Wednesday 23 May Commando Training Thursday 24 May Commando Training Friday 25 May Fat Fighters Weigh In at my new meetings Saturday 26 May Commando Training Sunday 27 May Absolutely Nothing cause I don't think I'll be able to do anything I'm scheduling all these Commando sessions but I'm not sure that I'll be capable of doing them all. Fingers crossed though :-)

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Damn!!!! Am hoping my Commando training gives me a kick up the bum. Am also going to swap the Weight Watchers meeting that I go to. I don't like the leader from my current meeting and the girl that I weighed in with tonight was so nice. This week was a blip and I'll be back on it this week. BRING IT ON!!!

It's the day after my first commando training and I feel ok. Every now and again I got an ache at work but all in all I felt ok. Last night though, I did realise why I find running so hard (apart from the physically obvious!!). I don't breath. I get myself so tense that I hold my breath. It's no wonder that I can't run/jog for any more than a few seconds!! lol So my aim for tomorrow (cause I'm really going back), is to breath. I'm going to take it at my pace and breath. The girls from work are so good at it too. I already go a bright shade of red when I exercise and look like I'm about to pass out but I was really embarrassed last night when the girls saw me glowing. Normally when I start a class, I don't know anyone so it doesn't bother me. I hope it's dry tomorrow. Although it was fun in the rain, I actually had to scrub the mud off my legs lol.  Going to aim to go to Commando training as much as I can this week and go for a big ...

60 mins - Ex Marine Commando Training I can't believe that I managed to get through the 60 mins of this tonight! It was so tough but I'm feeling amazing after doing it. I was definitely the fattest, most unfit person in the class and I was paranoid about it to start with but on the last run (yes I did run!!), I was totally wiped out and this lovely man came back to run the last bit with me. When I finished I could have cried lol. Body Combat and Step have nothing on this training. I can make it through 2 classes back to back but this pushes me to my limits. When the guy taking the class told us that we were going to run up a hill, I was ready to give up there and then but I didn't and I did it. The plank and push ups facing down the hill were a bit hairy. The girls were saying that it does it easier so I'm going back on Saturday and hope that it will hold the pain off tonight off.  I didn't get a chance to weigh in yesterday but am going to do it tomorrow, h...

Today is the 10th anniversary of my dad's death. It's always a hard day for me. Don't get me wrong, I think about him every day but today and his birthday, he consumes all my thoughts. He was an amazing man and is my hero. The courage and  strength that he showed during his illness was inspirational and he took everything that then doctors threw at him in his stride. I wish he had met my husband but he died in the May and I didn't meet Matt until the September of the same year. It's today I think of all the stuff that he missed being here for: meeting Matt, my weddings, changing my career and any children that I might have. On the other hand though, his battle with cancer and his death are the reasons that I do what I do for a living. And I love my job. I've put a few of my favourite photos of him below with a wee story about them. Anyway, I suppose the purpose of this post is to say, I love you dad and miss you so much every day xxx We were at a saf...

This week is going to slightly different on the classes that I'm doing. Monday Aerobics Zumba Tuesday Step Body Combat Wednesday Weight Watchers Thursday Marine Commando Training!!!! Friday Body Combat Saturday Kick my butt at the gym Two of the girls that I work with go to this mad commando training and I've said that I'll go on Thursday. I may not be able to walk on Friday morning so work could be fun!!! I'm quite nervous as well that I won't be able to finish the training. It's one thing doing step or body combat but these guys are ex marines who apparently shout at you! The girls feel a difference and they both look amazing so it must work, I think its just the thought of it!!!  We'll see how I get on. I've got my weigh in before that though and I'll update my activity tracker as and when

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs So it didn't make it to my 5lbs like I wanted but its 3lbs closer to my goal.

60 mins - Step 60 mins - Body Combat

I think I'm back into it at last!! I've reading my Jillian Michaels book again and I've been tracking my diet properly. The exercise also seems to be falling into place as well. I've actually got a schedule now and I think that helps the part of my brain that organises everything. I'm also trying everything that I've read that helps you. Eating off small plates that are a totally different colour from any food I'm ever likely to eat (we're talking about bright pink, blue and green). I've also started 2 jars full of stones, one for the pounds that I've still got to lose (104lbs) and one with the pounds already lost (30ish lbs). I'm just starting to feel great again. I've stopped making excuses about not going to classes and I'm hoping for a 5lb loss this week so I have under 100lbs left to lose. Weigh in is on Wednesday and O have my 2 toughest classes tomorrow so I'm going to put in a big last minute push. Fingers crossed :-) ...

60 mins - Aerobics 45 mins - Zumba

60 mins - Body combat

45 mins - Body Combat 30 mins - Core Blast (this is a modern day form of torture)

I had a bigger number this week which I was pleased about. I can actually see things coming back  on track. For the rest of this week I am going to keep it up with my exercise and I want a bigger number next week. I'd love to say double figures 'cause I've done it before but realistically a 5lb loss would be good.  So the exercise plan for this week is: Thursday 45 mins - Body Combat 30 mins - Core Blast Friday 60 mins - Body Combat Saturday & Sunday off (well I'll maybe go to the gym on Saturday morning) Monday 60 mins - Aerobics 45 mins - Zumba Tuesday 60 mins - Step 60 mins - Body Combat Wednesday Fat Fighters weigh in

I haven't done a weigh in like this since I discovered that Tesco's scales were wrong so here we go. Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs So that's a loss this week of 2.5lbs. The number is getting higher so I'm really happy about that. Next week I'm aiming for at least 5lbs. Watch this space!!!

60 mins - Step 60 mins - Body Combat I am going to hurt so much tomorrow!!!