My Journey - Warts and All

Firstly I want to apologise for my last post. Negative doesn't even cover it!! Well I'm apologising, it's how I felt and what I wanted to say at the time. This morning when I got up I realised I've been living in a funk and it was about time I have myself a good talking too. Not sure how I was thinking so clearly this morning, I haven't slept in about 48 hours but it obviously cleared my head. I'd stopped replying to text messages and would just leave my phone at home when I went out so I didn't have to talk to anyone. Before I'd have my phone surgically attached to me! So this morning I gave myself a shake. I have a job (when I eventually get a start date), I have some amazing friends and some of them are too far away for my liking but that's alright, Manchester is a great night out and isn't the other side of the world. The swimsuit issues, jeez, no one likes having to buy them! And I managed to get 2 of them. And on top of all that I'm...

Yesterday I had to go and try to buy a new swimsuit for my friend's hen weekend which is under 2 weeks away now. OMG! I had been putting it off because I knew how it was going to turn out but it was more horrendous than I had even imagined. Nothing fitted, they all looked awful and by the end of the whole shopping trip I was feeling completely deflated. I didn't get anything in the shop, I've had to order them online. I've lost a load of weight since I had to wear a swimsuit last but I felt like I was right back there again. The only difference this time was that I was acutely aware of what size I am. I'm still thinking about it now. Of course the low mood leads to emotional eating, its a vicious cycle :-( In short, I feel totally crap.I feel like all the work I've done has been a waste of time. I'm ready to give in. I've got the Race for Life in a few weeks so I have to keep to going. I'm just not sure how to get my motivation back. I'm not ...

It's that time of year again and Race for Life season is upon us. I'm entering it again this year and am training to run it. For the first time I actually feel like I'll manage to run it. I'm not sure how I managed it in 37 mins lady year so this year the aim is to run it under an hour. https://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/jamescorbett/ Here's the link to my page. I would be grateful for any sponsorship that people can give. Also if anyone is free on Sunday 23 June and are around the Fife area, I'd love the cheering squad as I come over the finish line :-)

In 6 days I've been out for 4 runs and I'm really chuffed with myself. I'm enjoying it which is a big thing for me. The run that I did today wasn't my longest but it was my best. I did 7.7km in total but 1.5 of that was the walk down from the house which takes about 20 mins. I didn't bother tracking the walk back up to the house. In total it took me 1hr and 15 mins for the whole thing. So that means I did 6.2km in 55mins on the actual running track and today I ran most of it. When I got home I did another 30 mins workout using the Nike Fitness app on my phone. I'm absolutely knackered! When I did the Race for Life last year, according to their timings I did 5k in 37 mins. I've no idea how I managed it, I'm not even close to it at the moment. There's still time to go, the Race for life isn't until the end of June but still. It's a big ask and I'm not sure that I'm up to it. But I'm up for the challenge. My fitness posts are...

I have a holiday coming up. It's a long weekend for a hen weekend. I'm so excited for my friend's hen weekend and her wedding and all the stuff that goes along with it.  The only thing I'm nervous about is the hen weekend. It's abroad which means shorts, vests and my worst nightmare SWIMWEAR!! There are videos from the last time that I wore a swimsuit which are 3 year old and I detest them! They were taken because I was taking part in some daft hotel games things. There are a couple of photos that I never planned to let see the light of day but when I started this I said that I would be honest..... so here goes...... I think this was when I was at my biggest and it's not my finest moment. I suppose I'm thinking about it because I had to try on my swimsuit this morning to see if I need a new one for the hen weekend. Now I'm not saying this because I want everyone to be like 'Oh you don't look like that now' but when I look in the mirr...

Well I went for a run on Saturday morning. On Friday night I did say that I was going to go but I wasn't even sure I believed myself lol But I did, I had breakfast and went out for a run not long after. I found a really good app on my phone which tracks how far you run, how fast and where you actually go. My total distance was 6.35km but I didn't run it all, not by any means. I've got a playlist with 'power songs' set up and when I needed a boost on Saturday that's exactly what they did. I've included a picture below that I took at the 6km mark, I was so pleased that I managed it in under an hour. I think I did ok except for one point at the top of a hill when I let that wee voice in my head tell me that I should just turn back 'cause I wasn't going to be able to go all the way round. I was about to turn back but I thought 'No, to hell with this, even if I have to walk I'm going the rest of the way round'. I also get super self con...

It's a strange feeling, I'm happy to be coming home but there are some people that I've met that I will miss like crazy. So I'm sitting in the car typing this and I'm a bit sad. I have been lucky enough to meet a group of people who are just fantastic! I've met nurses that I aspire to be like and have got so close with the other newly qualified nurses that it caught me by surprise. We were all in the same position and struck together through all the amazing days and the days where all we needed was a very, very large glass of wine! I also met 2 girls living in the nurses accommodation. One of them I worked with and the other one works elsewhere. I can't even describe how I feel about them :-). They were the ones that I got hugs from when I'd had a bad day or was missing home. It helped that one of the girls had an occasional Scottish accent!! The girls (on the ward and in the accommodation) are some of the most amazing and strong women I've met...