My Journey - Warts and All

I wanted to do a brief summary of what the last few years have been for me & us So after my 3rd miscarriage my world just fell apart. I had no idea who I was anymore. I wasn’t a mother with a live baby in her arms and I wasn’t someone who wasn’t having babies and concentrating on her career. I LONGED for a baby, it consumed my every thought but so did the fear of having a 4th miscarriage. I looked into every option available, adoption, surrogacy, you name it and I’ve looked into it. I was looking at friends and figuring out if they’d carry a baby for us. Actual surrogacy is incredibly expensive, like thousands and thousands of pounds. Also the law surrounding it in Scotland is crap! There is a 6 week period after the baby is born that the birth mother can change their mind and take the baby back. You then have to get into the whole court situation. Adoption is a long drawn out process, it takes 12+ months and they get into every aspect of your life. I totally understand tha...

It's been a really really long time since I posted on here, 1669 days to be exact (yes, I used excel to work that out) I'm not altogether sure why I stopped. I think it was just not as therapeutic for me as it had been when I started. Recent events have made me rethink that though so that's why I'm back. So what's happened in the last 4 years, 6 months & 25 day?? LOADS!!! A few of the bigger things. - I left nursing altogether. After the 3rd miscarriage, I just lost myself. It was a horrible, horrible time and I just couldn't give my patients the emotional support that they needed - The extra tests after the 3rd miscarriage revealed nothing. They have no idea what caused them - I moved back into admin and found my passionate for Excel again! I've always loved Excel but have now taught myself how to make it do everything except make a cup of tea - Matt & I moved back into Edinburgh and have a lovely wee detached house in Gilmerton. It'...

Today was the day of my Swimathon. I decided to do the swimathon a while ago to give myself a different physical challenge. My friend has her own swimming school and she's super fit so I thought swimming was something to try. There were 3 options for the distance: 1.5k, 2.5k and 5k. Deciding on the 2.5k, my friend, Kalie, offered to help me with my stroke to make sure that my back was as safe as possible as well as improving what I was doing. Both important as the distance that I had opted for is 100 lengths of the Bannatynes pool So anyway, I started my swim at 0910. The pool wasn't bad in terms of bodies in the water. I had a wee board all made up so that I only had to count to 10 at any one time. I've put a picture below. The first 30 lengths were the hardest for me, I was trying to settle into my own stride. Just after I had done 40, I was totally overwhelmed by what I still had to do and then, as if my wee MP3 player knew that I needed a boost, 'Danger Zone' ...

I have posted on here in a while but as the title suggests, it's been some start to the year. I started my new job and it's amazing! The job is fantastic, the girls that I work with are great, it's a win/win situation.  My weight loss stalled a little bit but I decided to go back to a slimming club and in my first week lost 3.5lbs. That takes my overall weight loss to 101lbs!!!!! I'm so chuffed to get into triple figures. I've lost almost as much as I still have to lose! I've also taken on a load of charity things for the remainder of the year. Swimathon 2.5k (100 lengths of a 25m pool) - Saturday 18 April for Marie Curie A Walk to Remember 13 miles - Saturday 13 June for St Columbas Hospice Race for Life 5k - Sunday 14 June for Cancer Research Fun Run 5k - Sunday 11 October for Tommy's Initially they were reasons to keep the fitness kick going, they've now turned into something else. They've become ways to distract myself. I've had ...

I posted on Facebook about a week or so ago which was the preferred class, Pilates or Yoga. The response was very much 50/50.  So I decided to try them both and see what I thought.  Yoga It was the first of the classes that I tried early on a Sunday morning. I was in a really open mind about it. The other people were nice and very welcoming to the class. The instructor took time to find out about me, any niggles, illness etc and explained about only doing what I was able to do. She said she would correct me on my form and keep me right and mostly not to worry. All positives. The class itself though, hmmmm not sure. I think it's one of these classes that you will eventually see results in unlike the classes I normally do where I sweat a lot or feel the muscles the day after. The relaxation bit at the end was completely wasted on me. I'm physically incapable of relaxing. Pilates The things I had heard from friends about Pilates was more what I was looking for in ...

So tonight was weigh in night...... Starting weight: 18st 8lbs Loss: 4.5lbs New weight: 18st 3.5lbs Woop Woop!!!'