My Journey - Warts and All

I finally organised somewhere to stay in Manchester. It's in the nurses accommodation and is really reasonable in the price of it. There are a few things that I forgot or didn't think to ask on the phone yesterday but the other bonus is that they only take your first rent when you get your salary and it comes straight out your salary.  The other positive is that they are completely flexible on a move in date. They understand the uncertainty about professional registration and security checks. I don't think I'll have any problems with either, its just the amount of time it takes for them to come through, there is no hard and fast rule.  I'm starting to get really nervous as well lol. When I think that I've got a job and somewhere to stay, it makes it real. In about 10 weeks, I'm going to leave my family behind and start this brand new job in a brand new city. It's pathetic really, I'm a 30 year old woman who has lived on her own before albeit not ...

My plans are all starting to come together. :-) So I got the job (conditionally) and now I've seen a house that works perfectly. It's partially furnished and is available from January. I've put a note of interest in the house but I've never rented before   so I'm really not sure how it works. The poor agent that I spoke to this morning had a load of questions thrown at him lol. The house is right behind the hospital and only a short walk from everything, the gym, the train station, the centre of the wee suburb. I went down yesterday to Manchester to do all the security paperwork that was needed. They've also sent out my references so I'm hoping it won't be long until I have a start date. So pending my security stuff (which I'm not worried about at all, my previous jobs have required high security clearance) and passing this placement, I should be in Manchester working in the first part of the new year. I've started to try and get stuff orga...

We've had some movement on the Manchester plans. I got all my documents through so I do actually have the conditional offer of a job. I've had a few moments where I've been convinced that they phoned the wrong person :-) But they didn't and the job is mine. I have to go back to Manchester to do all the security paperwork, I just need to get a date organised for it.  On a negative though, Matt won't be coming with me. It just wasn't working out with his job options, money etc etc. We're both ok with it though, Manchester isn't that far away and it won't be forever. We're a strong enough couple that a wee bit of distance isn't going to hurt us in any way. It means that my family will be able to get a lift down to see me as well :-) So I'm starting to pack up all my bits and pieces. I almost feel like we're having to split the house lol. I don't know if I'll get a furnished or unfurnished flat so I have no idea what I'll ...

I'm not sure how to start this post.  It's been so full on with placement at the moment and I've got one more essay due for Uni. I only have 9 weeks left until I'm fully qualified. I starte d to apply for jobs a few weeks ago and got called for an interview in the hospital that I currently work in but unfortunately I didn't get it. On Saturday just passed, I went down to Manchester for an interview. I wasn't sure how the interview had gone, it was so intense. I became really aware during the interview that I was speaking very quickly in my Scottish accent and I started to concentrate on slowing down my speech. I came out of it convinced that I had done ok but not well enough to actually get the job. But all the interviews are good practice. They said they would let me know by Friday so I just put it out of my mind. However, I got a call yesterday from them......................and I GOT THE JOB!!!!! It's full time and permanent. I can't believe it,...

This week I got some brilliant news. I passed my diploma in Nursing!!! That means that I can get a job as a Staff nurse. There is still the option to go for my degree which is my plan but providing I pass the placement I'm currently on, I'll be Staff Nurse Chambers in 10 weeks. Scary but exciting stuff. Now starts the hunt for a job. I have an interview next week which I have everything crossed for. I had my first interview the other week and nerves doesn't even begin to say how I felt. I felt sorry for the interviewers lol. I still can't exercise but am walking a lot and that's just on the wards. I do my physio exercises as much as I can tolerate and I have an appointment a week on Tuesday. I'm hoping to go for some additional walks on my days off but I still have my final degree essay to do so that depend on my schedule. I can't believe how much things have changed over the last 3 years. I'm a more confident person than the person who started thi...

This week has been a weird one. I started placement and I think I'm getting on ok. I've also been working trying to get a job when I qualify as well as finishing my uni work. Matt and I have had a good chat about my career and the future so a plan is in place and I'm excited!  I'm still out on the exercise front though. I have a physio appointment on Monday and they will hopefully say that I can go back to exercising. I've got my swimming buddy all organised and as soon as the physio gives me the green light, I'll be back on it. I'm choking to do some form of exercise. I'm booked to do a Fun Run on 4th November and I think that's going to be the first time that I do a proper run. I miss training with the girls from CPT :-( After the physio on Monday, I'm hoping that they say I can go for walks, that way I'll be able to walk the runs with the CPT girls (while they run them obviously). I've been on my medication for my PCOS now for ...

I haven't really been in the mood to post lately. I'll be honest, I'm gutted about this injury. I'm gutted that it's keeping me out of training and I'm sick of not being able to take stairs without there being an element of pain. I start placement on Monday and for the first week will be working 8 hour shifts. From week 2 onwards, it'll be 12.5 hour shifts and I can't be ill or hobbling about for that. It's not exactly a great impression. I'm only 12 weeks away from becoming a 'proper' nurse and I can't wait.  To keep myself going I've been looking at holidays for next year. I don't have the motivation of being able to go to training at the moment so I'm using a swimsuit as my motivation. Next summer, I'll need to wear a swimsuit and that's what's got to get my diet back on track. I've been so down about not being able to exercise that I've let it all lapse and I can't do that. I've come way...

Well I had the docs today about my hip/leg. She said I have a Grade 3 groin strain. On a positive it's a muscular injury and not anything wrong with my actual hip joint. On the negative she said it could take 4-6 weeks to get better. She made me promise that I won't head back to Commando training until I'm in no more pain and can climb stairs without there even being a niggle of pain :-( I'm gutted but I know I need to get better ahead of placement. I've got stronger pain killers to help me when I get really sore. I've got lots of things to concentrate on so I'm going to concentrate on those things. It'll get better when it gets better! When I do get back to Commando its going to be as bad as my first time lol.

Just after my 10k, I posted that I had hurt my left leg/hip. Since then it doesn't seem to have improved at all. I went to CPT on Mon, Tues and Thurs of last week but after Thurs the pain was bad, I stayed off Sat, Mon and Tues. It was starting to feel better and wasn't even a fraction as sore. I went back tonight for the first time and it was agony. As soon as we started to run I could feel it. Every time I put my foot down.... It got so bad at one point that I actually thought I was about to cry to tried to remove myself from the group a wee bit. With placement starting a week on Monday, I absolutely can't risk not being able to walk the wards. I'm totally gutted to say this but I'm going to have give CPT a rest for a while :-( I've never enjoyed exercise so much and I can't believe I'm going to have to give it a rest. The walking about the ward for 12.5 hours, 3 days a week will be lighter exercise and I can always go out for a walk on my days o...

Am officially sick of this!! Not only did I have a rubbish week with whatever I've done to my hip but I put on 4.5lbs at Fat Fighters!! What the hell!?!? My diet hasn't been the greatest but it's not putting on that sort of weight. I'm not going to make excuses though. I haven't eaten as well and I haven't been able to exercise as hard as usual. So this week, it's back to basics. I'll be tracking my food intake and using the weight watchers points stuff properly. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back to training with this hip pain. It needs to be all about diet this week. Good tracking, good eating! I started my new medication this week as well so by my weigh in on Friday, I'll be on the maximum dose and will hopefully be seeing the benefit of that. So I do feel ready to throw in the towel but I'm not going to. I've come too far, I ran a 10k last weekend!! A year ago I'd never have done that! I'm a size 18, last O...

As I posted yesterday, I did my very first 10k this weekend. As hard as it was I managed it and felt ok when I woke up this morning. I went out and spent the day with my friend then, as always, went to CPT tonight. What a mistake!!! As soon as I started, my legs were like 2 huge lumps of lead. I instantly regretted my decision to go to training tonight :-( But I kept with it and finished the whole session. I'll be there again tomorrow night but I can't make it on Wednesday (Matt has a concert so I can't get home). As a consequence of going tonight, I can't sleep because of a horrendous pain in my left hip/leg. I'm hoping that my quiet day tomorrow will help it feel better and I'll be fine for training tomorrow night, I'm sure it'll ease of during the course of the day. It's late and I'm sore so am just having a wee moan :-). I'm sure after I sleep tomorrow I'll feel much better. Roll on tomorrow........

Today was the day that I did the 10k in Dalgety Bay. First I want to say a massive thank you to Caitlin, I ran with her and she was amazing at keeping me going. At the end of the race, I didn't think I was going to manage it but she kept me going all the way. She was a wee star!!  I also want to say a huge thanks to my friend Mhairi who came all the way over from West Lothian to cheer me over the finish line.  As always the true spirit of CPT was there on the day and Lyndsay, Lyndsey, John and Louise came back to help me over the finish line. I love training with these guys, I've never experienced team spirit like it. Picture of us all below. So the race itself: Ran 10K? - Yep did it Out of my fitness ability? - Absolutely but I did it Would I do it again? - Absolutely would, in fact I can't wait for the next one Unfortunately the organisation of the race was terrible. The front runners were sent in the wrong direction and they ended up running a mile or so mo...

I have done next to no exercise this week :-( I've only been to Commando training once and that was Monday. There is a really good reason why I haven't been but it doesn't make me feel any better for not going. I have an essay due on tomorrow and have used all my extra hours on that. I had to make a choice on Tuesday night, Commando or my nursing degree. It's not really a choice, my degree will always come first.  I love Commando training but I love nursing more. My diet has been good this week though. It's my first week trying to eat gluten free. I'm not going to lie, it's hard and I've had the odd slip but overall I've done quite well. Talking about my job, it's getting to the point where I need to be looking for a job. The Navy were in seeing us this term to try and recruit us and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. I'm hoping the local job market picks up before it comes to that. After finishing this essay today, my nex...

This Sunday I'll be running my very first 10k and I can't put into words how nervous I am. This year I promised myself that I would do a 5k and I've done that. I never thought I'd even be considering doing a 10k.  I'm not asking people for a huge sum of money for sponsorship, only a £1. If anyone reading this would like to sponsor me, I'd really appreciate it. My JustGiving page is below: http://www.justgiving.com/forournationalheroes The charity I'm running for supports ex servicemen and women and their families. It seems really appropriate given that the men who've got me to the point where I feel able to run that far are servicemen. I went out for a run with 2 of the commando girls on Friday and we ran 6.3km, that was after doing CPT all week. That's more exercise than I did in year nevermind a week lol. If anyone reading this is free on Sunday and happens to be in the Dalgety Bay area, feel free to come and cheer us over the line (I mi...

Starting Weight - 18st 2.5 lbs Week 1 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 2lbs Week 2 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 18st 1.5lbs Week 3 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 4 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 5 - Gain 3lbs. Weight - 17st 13lbs Week 6 - Loss 2.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10.5lbs Week 7 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 10lbs Week 7 - Loss 4lbs. Weight - 17st 6lbs Week 8 - Loss 3lbs. Weight - 17st 3lbs Week 9 - Loss 0.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Week 10 - Loss 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 1lb Week 11 - Gain 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 2.5lbs Week 12 - Loss 1.5lbs. Weight - 17st 1lb I honestly think that I'm stuck in this stone bracket. I've psyched myself out with it all. This week is the first week of me cutting gluten / carbs completely put of my diet so fingers crossed that makes a difference

I went into Edinburgh to help my sister with something related to her house. She was meeting with an MSP, council officials and police today so was a bit intimidated. I was a civil servant who worked directly with government ministers in a previous job so went with her for a bit of moral support.  I was born in Edinburgh and lived there for 24 years of my life. I know the city really well. I also know the bus service really well. I can bus hop like a professional and when I'm in the city I tend to bus my way around. Not today though, I walked everywhere! I walked a total of 5.5 miles which I've just converted into kilometres. I walked 8.5km today! I still have to go for my run as well tonight. My sister did 3.8 miles before she went her own way to get home an she doesn't walk the length of herself. One of my errands for today was to officially sign up for the Poppy Scotland run a week on Sunday. These Commando guys have a lot to answer for :-). I never, in a million yea...

Well all my birthday celebrations are over and everything is back to normal. I have had a brilliant 30th!! Tuesday I got to spend the day relaxing, shopping and then CPT. On Saturday, I had a wee night out in Dunfermline. It was a brilliant night, lots of laughs, dancing and podium dancers lol.  I know my initial motivation for the weight loss was my 30th and I wasn't at my target weight as I has wanted to be but I felt great on Saturday night and the pictures have at last showed me how far I've come. I've lost 5 stone and yeah I've got a long way to go but I've already achieved a huge weight loss. I changed my Facebook profile picture on Saturday afternoon. I was mucking about with my camera and trying to get a picture of my hair to let my granny see it. I couldn't believe the picture. It was like I was seeing myself for the first time since all this started. It was the first picture in years that I've actually thought 'I like that photo'. So ba...

So I turned 30 on Tuesday and I have to say it wasn't painful at all. The Commando circuit part of the day was extremely painful and remained that way until Wednesday night. The actual part where I left my 20's wasn't though.  I'm in such a better place now than when I turned 20. On my 20th birthday my dad had only died 3 months before and I was in a terrible place in my head. I had no idea where I would be the next week nevermind 10 years on. I had no idea that 4 months later I'd lose the other man in my life, my grandad. But on a happier note, I didn't know that I'd meet the man who would eventually become my husband just 6/7 weeks after my birthday. Don't get me wrong, the last 10 years haven't been a bed of roses but I like who I am and where I am in my life.  I'm actually looking forward to what my 30's have in store. In 4 months I'll be a fully qualified nurse, something that I never thought I'd ever achieve. I'm happily...

I've been going to Commando training for a few months now and tonight we did another progress circuit. I really haven't been able to see the change in my fitness levels but tonight it was there in black and white. The idea of this is to do as many of the exercise as you can in 60 secs. I've put down my previous scores and the ones that I achieved tonight. 29 May 2012 Push Ups - 37  Sit ups - 15  Squat thrusts - 18  Wide arm push ups - 36  Sit ups with a twist - 15  20 metre sprint - 4  7 August 2012 Push Ups - 62 Sit ups - 36 Squat thrusts - 32 Wide arm push ups - 66 Sit ups with a twist - 24 20 metre sprint - 9 I'm so chuffed with my scores. I beat my own ass and did it all on my 30th birthday. I had an amazing day with Matt and this topped it all off. I can actually see the difference in my fitness levels. Go me!!!!!

Last night, my sister organised dinner out with my family for my birthday. I had a lovely dinner but realised last night that I can no longer drink like I used to!!  It's not something that I'm particularly proud of but I use to be able to drink like a fish. It was disgusting the amount of booze I could put away!! Last night, the 5 stone that I've lost hit me and I realised I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it either. I'm feeling incredibly guilty this morning for jumping off the diet. I know it's my birthday but it's just not worth it. I'm out next Saturday for my birthday and I'm not going to not drink but I'm definitely going to be more sensible. I hate the memory gaps, I want to remember every bit of it. It's my 30th after all not my 18th. Next week will be less drinking and more dancing!!!