Light at the end of a very dark tunnel

I'm not sure what has prompted this blog entry but I just felt like it was the right time to get back to it.  I was sure that it was the right decision when I read my last post at the beginning of September. I was in a horrible place and I'm not sure I realised how bad it was. 

I have done what I said in the last post and I'm not in nursing. I've got another job elsewhere making use of my customer service experience, you don't get much better customer service than nursing :-) 

My weight loss had all but stopped and I was eating crap. As a consequence I've put on weight and am not heavier than when I started writing this blog. But it's ok because I'm back on it. Today is day 1 and it's started with a bang. I'm writing this after having done a gym session which started at 6am this morning! Keen or what!?!? 

I'm also much better in my own head. I suppose what I've learnt is that I have to stop comparing what I went through to others. I went through something that awful for me and I reacted the way that was appropriate for me. I'm allowed to grief. I'm now a mummy to 2 angel babies and as sad as it is, I'm learning to deal with it and every day it gets a bit easier.

I've also learnt over the course of the last few months who my real friends are and that's an amazing feeling. It's nice to know that I have a network of people that I can fall back on. One or two of the girls from Manchester are coming up soon and I can't wait!!!  It'll be a weekend of shopping, cocktails and dancing!! 

So I said that I had weighed in, here's goes (deep breath....)

Monday 14 October - 18st 12lbs

Cross your fingers for a big ass number next week

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good news!!!!

I'm not sure how to start this post.  It's been so full on with placement at the moment and I've got one more essay due for Uni. I only have 9 weeks left until I'm fully qualified. I starte d to apply for jobs a few weeks ago and got called for an interview in the hospital that I currently work in but unfortunately I didn't get it. On Saturday just passed, I went down to Manchester for an interview. I wasn't sure how the interview had gone, it was so intense. I became really aware during the interview that I was speaking very quickly in my Scottish accent and I started to concentrate on slowing down my speech. I came out of it convinced that I had done ok but not well enough to actually get the job. But all the interviews are good practice. They said they would let me know by Friday so I just put it out of my mind. However, I got a call yesterday from them......................and I GOT THE JOB!!!!! It's full time and permanent. I can't believe it,...
Read more

Devastated!!

When I wrote my last blog, I knew that I had some huge news although I didn't think I would be telling our news this early or that this is how it would end. I'm writing about this because I promised this blog would be honest and the last few weeks have had a huge impact on me as an individual and Matt & I as a couple. I discovered at the end of June that I was pregnant. I was so excited and could not believe it. With my PCOS I had given up any hope of falling pregnant naturally. I was over the moon. Unfortunately at 5 weeks I started to bleed. A week later, I had a scan but they couldn't tell me whether the pregnancy was viable anymore so I've had to wait another week. Today it was confirmed that I have lost the baby. The last 2 weeks have been some of the worst I've ever had. I've only been able to fall asleep by imagining that we were told the baby was still growing. But when I wake up it's like a jolt back to reality when I realise that that's...
Read more

Willpower

I've never considered myself one of these lucky people who have a load of willpower. In fact I would say I'm exactly the opposite but I've set myself a wee challenge to test what little willpower I have. In my handbag are 3 chocolate sweets that I got off my granny ages ago. They've just sat in the bottom of my bag and I had totally forgotten about them. During a wee craving for sugar this week, I found them and really felt like I needed them. BUT I didn't have them. So they've become sort of like a reminder that I don't need any crappy food. I watched One Born Every Minute this week and there was a woman on it who suffered from the same thing I do, PCOS. She made a good point as well. PCOS is affected by weight and to have a baby she was told that she had to lose it. She would starting weighing up junk food with a baby. Now I know that Matt and I aren't at the baby making phase yet but ultimately if I want to have a family I need to get rid of my ex...
Read more