My Journey - Warts and All

I am very aware that my post yesterday was very down in tone and mood. When I started writing this, I promised that I would be honest and that was how I was feeling yesterday. I work up this morning though and was feeling better. I went off and had a productive day. Found the shops, gym, pub and nightclub. I also got all my travel timetables and feel a lot more settled and organised. I'm missing Matt like crazy and as soon as I stopped today, I realised how much I was missing him. But I've spoken to him a few times today and it's made me feel better. I hope it's done the same for him. I'm going to a wifi zone on Sunday and will talk to Matt and my family via FaceTime. I'm also going to go to the pictures in my own next week, something I've never done. Things are looking brighter; we have a provisional date when Matt will come down again, I know my way about and I bought a bottle of Irn Bru today with a Scottish fiver and no questions were asked. Happy ...

Well I'm now officially living in Manchester and what a day it's been. My room is all unpacked and I just need to sort everything out. The room is actually a really decent size. I was expecting a shoebox but if it was a hotel room I'd be more than happy with it. With all my furniture in place, I could put in a single bed. Tomorrow I have a couple of things to do but will spend most of the day walking around and finding out where things are. What I did see today was a drive thru Starbucks (so impressed!!) and a Krispy Kreme. I'm just glad both if these places are a wee bit far to walk and the gym is closer. The worst part of the day without a shadow of a doubt was saying goodbye to Matt. It was BRUTAL!! I'm going to miss him like crazy but I can't thank him enough for doing this for me. His support during however long we end up apart is priceless and I think as a couple, we'll only end up stronger. At the moment I'm sad although I'm sure I'll ...

Well tomorrow is the last day of 2012 and what a year!! This year, I celebrated my 30th birthday and my 5th wedding anniversary. My 30th was a brilliant day and I had a fantastic night out. I actually have a 'song' that reminds me of my birthday lol. I haven't had that since my 18th. My wedding anniversary was lovely too but for different reasons. I think mentally 5 years was a big one for us. We knew that when we got to 5 years married, we would have been together for 10 years and it would also mean that my course was nearly over and we'd made it through to the end of it, together. I am lighter in weight than I have been in a long time. I've put on some weight since I had to stop CPT but that's ok, I'm going back to the gym in Manchester when I get down there. I have just realised though that the dress I wore last night to my leaving do made me look pregnant at certain angles :-( but hey ho, it was a size 18 and I fitted into it. I now have a degree i...

Well the nerves have well and truly kicked in ahead of moving. I've used the last two weeks to catch up with people before I go and it's starting to seem so final. I've got a big night out planned for the end of the month where I'll catch up with everyone who can come properly. There are some friends that when I move away, we'll probably never speak again and that's ok, we're just not in the same place in our lives. My priorities have changed from where they were 3 years ago. It's a fact that makes me a bit sad but that's life. I think what I'm most nervous about is starting this new job, in a new town on my own. My family and my close friends support me more than they probably realise. They allow me to switch off. I get to listen to how their day has been and what's going on with them. That's what I'm going to miss. I'm going to be working and living in the same place and I worry that I won't be able to switch off. I...

Well placement and Uni are now officially over and I have a degree in Nursing and start my job as a staff nurse in a few weeks. I can't believe it. The last 3 years have flown by. Would I do it again? Yeah I would. Would I do differently? There are somethings that I'd change but life is too short for regrets. One of the girls and I organised a graduation night out for the class last night. I couldn't go but I've heard from some girls this morning and they seemed to have a good time. We'll get a proper graduation ceremony in the summertime where we get the gowns and all that jazz. I'll come home for that. I think my granny would kill me if I didn't. So now I have Christmas, New Year and then moving. It's all happened so quickly. I'm so excited now! I've got 3 weeks of catching up with friends and in fact tonight I'm going to my friend Vicky's house to have a Take That party. It's a long standing thing that we do and is exactly...

I'm wondering if good luck comes in 3's? 1. I got my confirmed date for the my new job 2. I got my degree 3. .......... My third piece of good news came yesterday. The final part of our degree was an essay on a topic that we are passionate about and is current in nursing. So I did mine on nursing attitudes to obese patients. It's something that I've experienced from both sides of the fence. I enjoyed writing the essay (when I eventually got into it) and when I got my grade back for it, I was shocked. When we got our initial talk about the degree essay the lecturer told us about the possibility of getting our final work published so I went to speak to him yesterday about it. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, we had decided that we were going to undertake brand new research into the topic and not just publish my degree work!! I'm so excited. The lecturer at uni is going to help me look at grants, publishing etc etc. We haven't worked out all the deta...

Today I got some amazing news. I passed my final essay at Uni and now have a degree in Adult Nursing!! I can't believe it. I was hoping for a pass but I would never have guessed that I would have managed to get the mark that I did. I got an A2. I was speechless when I read it lol. I had to read it a few times o make sure it was right. So all there's left to do is pass my placement and I'll be Staff Nurse Chambers!! Aaaarrrrrgggghhh, that's a scary thought. The last 3 years have flown by. I owe a big thanks to the staff who have welcomed me into their workplace and the ones who wanted to give me all their knowledge. I couldn't have done it without the support of my family and closest friends. I owe them a huge thank you for accepting that I'm a hermit when I'm on placement and taking me out for a drink after an exam or essay. Thank you for the text messages asking how I am just when I need to speak to someone. Thanks for living with the tears when I c...

Well I have my start date confirmed for my new job. I'll be starting in Monday 7th January 2013. I'm really excited and nervous all at the same time. I'm excited to finally start my career and I'm nervous about going down on my own. I'm gutted that Matt isn't coming but we'll make it work. My family are already planning their visits down to see me and have been working out the logistics of it all ie hotels, hiring cars that will take all of them etc. With only 3 weeks to go until I qualify and 7 or 8 weeks until I start working, it got me thinking back to January 2010 when this all started. The nerves that I got before I started my first lecture, meeting new people and that first time I set foot in a ward as a worker rather than a visitor. I have had some amazing experiences and I have had some not so good. But I'm coming out of the last 3 years with some of the brilliant friends, people who'll continue to be in my life even with the distance s...

Things are starting to move along nicely. I have a provisional start date for my new job (depending on my security check coming through in time). They have my references so that's all I'm waiting for. They'll start me as a band lower than staff nurse and when all my nurses paperwork come through, I'll move up. I have my accommodation sorted, all my packing is done (except for the stuff I use on a daily basis) and most importantly my leaving party is organised!!! So for my leaving party, the date and time are set, the pub is booked and the dress is bought.  On the dress front, I tried it on in a size 16 and it fitted!! Woop woop! It wasn't quite right so went up a size but I could have worn it. I love the dress. It's the first time I've been able to get something out of Debenhams. The only thing that I have left to do it trying to organise transport from Fife to Edinburgh and back again. We were going to stay at my mum's but she's replaced some ...

I finally organised somewhere to stay in Manchester. It's in the nurses accommodation and is really reasonable in the price of it. There are a few things that I forgot or didn't think to ask on the phone yesterday but the other bonus is that they only take your first rent when you get your salary and it comes straight out your salary.  The other positive is that they are completely flexible on a move in date. They understand the uncertainty about professional registration and security checks. I don't think I'll have any problems with either, its just the amount of time it takes for them to come through, there is no hard and fast rule.  I'm starting to get really nervous as well lol. When I think that I've got a job and somewhere to stay, it makes it real. In about 10 weeks, I'm going to leave my family behind and start this brand new job in a brand new city. It's pathetic really, I'm a 30 year old woman who has lived on her own before albeit not ...

My plans are all starting to come together. :-) So I got the job (conditionally) and now I've seen a house that works perfectly. It's partially furnished and is available from January. I've put a note of interest in the house but I've never rented before   so I'm really not sure how it works. The poor agent that I spoke to this morning had a load of questions thrown at him lol. The house is right behind the hospital and only a short walk from everything, the gym, the train station, the centre of the wee suburb. I went down yesterday to Manchester to do all the security paperwork that was needed. They've also sent out my references so I'm hoping it won't be long until I have a start date. So pending my security stuff (which I'm not worried about at all, my previous jobs have required high security clearance) and passing this placement, I should be in Manchester working in the first part of the new year. I've started to try and get stuff orga...

We've had some movement on the Manchester plans. I got all my documents through so I do actually have the conditional offer of a job. I've had a few moments where I've been convinced that they phoned the wrong person :-) But they didn't and the job is mine. I have to go back to Manchester to do all the security paperwork, I just need to get a date organised for it.  On a negative though, Matt won't be coming with me. It just wasn't working out with his job options, money etc etc. We're both ok with it though, Manchester isn't that far away and it won't be forever. We're a strong enough couple that a wee bit of distance isn't going to hurt us in any way. It means that my family will be able to get a lift down to see me as well :-) So I'm starting to pack up all my bits and pieces. I almost feel like we're having to split the house lol. I don't know if I'll get a furnished or unfurnished flat so I have no idea what I'll ...

I'm not sure how to start this post.  It's been so full on with placement at the moment and I've got one more essay due for Uni. I only have 9 weeks left until I'm fully qualified. I starte d to apply for jobs a few weeks ago and got called for an interview in the hospital that I currently work in but unfortunately I didn't get it. On Saturday just passed, I went down to Manchester for an interview. I wasn't sure how the interview had gone, it was so intense. I became really aware during the interview that I was speaking very quickly in my Scottish accent and I started to concentrate on slowing down my speech. I came out of it convinced that I had done ok but not well enough to actually get the job. But all the interviews are good practice. They said they would let me know by Friday so I just put it out of my mind. However, I got a call yesterday from them......................and I GOT THE JOB!!!!! It's full time and permanent. I can't believe it,...

This week I got some brilliant news. I passed my diploma in Nursing!!! That means that I can get a job as a Staff nurse. There is still the option to go for my degree which is my plan but providing I pass the placement I'm currently on, I'll be Staff Nurse Chambers in 10 weeks. Scary but exciting stuff. Now starts the hunt for a job. I have an interview next week which I have everything crossed for. I had my first interview the other week and nerves doesn't even begin to say how I felt. I felt sorry for the interviewers lol. I still can't exercise but am walking a lot and that's just on the wards. I do my physio exercises as much as I can tolerate and I have an appointment a week on Tuesday. I'm hoping to go for some additional walks on my days off but I still have my final degree essay to do so that depend on my schedule. I can't believe how much things have changed over the last 3 years. I'm a more confident person than the person who started thi...

This week has been a weird one. I started placement and I think I'm getting on ok. I've also been working trying to get a job when I qualify as well as finishing my uni work. Matt and I have had a good chat about my career and the future so a plan is in place and I'm excited!  I'm still out on the exercise front though. I have a physio appointment on Monday and they will hopefully say that I can go back to exercising. I've got my swimming buddy all organised and as soon as the physio gives me the green light, I'll be back on it. I'm choking to do some form of exercise. I'm booked to do a Fun Run on 4th November and I think that's going to be the first time that I do a proper run. I miss training with the girls from CPT :-( After the physio on Monday, I'm hoping that they say I can go for walks, that way I'll be able to walk the runs with the CPT girls (while they run them obviously). I've been on my medication for my PCOS now for ...

I haven't really been in the mood to post lately. I'll be honest, I'm gutted about this injury. I'm gutted that it's keeping me out of training and I'm sick of not being able to take stairs without there being an element of pain. I start placement on Monday and for the first week will be working 8 hour shifts. From week 2 onwards, it'll be 12.5 hour shifts and I can't be ill or hobbling about for that. It's not exactly a great impression. I'm only 12 weeks away from becoming a 'proper' nurse and I can't wait.  To keep myself going I've been looking at holidays for next year. I don't have the motivation of being able to go to training at the moment so I'm using a swimsuit as my motivation. Next summer, I'll need to wear a swimsuit and that's what's got to get my diet back on track. I've been so down about not being able to exercise that I've let it all lapse and I can't do that. I've come way...

Well I had the docs today about my hip/leg. She said I have a Grade 3 groin strain. On a positive it's a muscular injury and not anything wrong with my actual hip joint. On the negative she said it could take 4-6 weeks to get better. She made me promise that I won't head back to Commando training until I'm in no more pain and can climb stairs without there even being a niggle of pain :-( I'm gutted but I know I need to get better ahead of placement. I've got stronger pain killers to help me when I get really sore. I've got lots of things to concentrate on so I'm going to concentrate on those things. It'll get better when it gets better! When I do get back to Commando its going to be as bad as my first time lol.

Just after my 10k, I posted that I had hurt my left leg/hip. Since then it doesn't seem to have improved at all. I went to CPT on Mon, Tues and Thurs of last week but after Thurs the pain was bad, I stayed off Sat, Mon and Tues. It was starting to feel better and wasn't even a fraction as sore. I went back tonight for the first time and it was agony. As soon as we started to run I could feel it. Every time I put my foot down.... It got so bad at one point that I actually thought I was about to cry to tried to remove myself from the group a wee bit. With placement starting a week on Monday, I absolutely can't risk not being able to walk the wards. I'm totally gutted to say this but I'm going to have give CPT a rest for a while :-( I've never enjoyed exercise so much and I can't believe I'm going to have to give it a rest. The walking about the ward for 12.5 hours, 3 days a week will be lighter exercise and I can always go out for a walk on my days o...

Am officially sick of this!! Not only did I have a rubbish week with whatever I've done to my hip but I put on 4.5lbs at Fat Fighters!! What the hell!?!? My diet hasn't been the greatest but it's not putting on that sort of weight. I'm not going to make excuses though. I haven't eaten as well and I haven't been able to exercise as hard as usual. So this week, it's back to basics. I'll be tracking my food intake and using the weight watchers points stuff properly. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back to training with this hip pain. It needs to be all about diet this week. Good tracking, good eating! I started my new medication this week as well so by my weigh in on Friday, I'll be on the maximum dose and will hopefully be seeing the benefit of that. So I do feel ready to throw in the towel but I'm not going to. I've come too far, I ran a 10k last weekend!! A year ago I'd never have done that! I'm a size 18, last O...

As I posted yesterday, I did my very first 10k this weekend. As hard as it was I managed it and felt ok when I woke up this morning. I went out and spent the day with my friend then, as always, went to CPT tonight. What a mistake!!! As soon as I started, my legs were like 2 huge lumps of lead. I instantly regretted my decision to go to training tonight :-( But I kept with it and finished the whole session. I'll be there again tomorrow night but I can't make it on Wednesday (Matt has a concert so I can't get home). As a consequence of going tonight, I can't sleep because of a horrendous pain in my left hip/leg. I'm hoping that my quiet day tomorrow will help it feel better and I'll be fine for training tomorrow night, I'm sure it'll ease of during the course of the day. It's late and I'm sore so am just having a wee moan :-). I'm sure after I sleep tomorrow I'll feel much better. Roll on tomorrow........